San Francisco--Return to the Ponderosa
by Ponderosa Dreamer
Summary: A 'What Happened Next' to "San Francisco."


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San Francisco — Return to the Ponderosa

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"What Happened Next"

Adam grimaced as he sipped from the cup of long-since cold coffee. His coffee didn't taste all that great hot; it was even worse cold. He sighed. It was a good thing Hop Sing would be back soon. He missed his father and brothers, but it was kind of peaceful to have the house to himself. Eating his own cooking, on the other hand, had gotten old fast.

He looked up from the ledgers when he heard riders in the yard. A glance out the window confirmed that they were back already, a couple of days early. Pa had said that they might spend a few days in San Francisco after the drive. Adam wondered why they'd cut the trip short. He grinned as he headed for the door. One thing was sure; Joe wasn't going to be happy about it!

Adam stopped halfway to the door, and looked around the room at the odds and ends out of place, a jacket on the couch, a book on the table, his boots by the fireplace, one of his shirts on the back of a dining room chair. He was usually tidy, but with everyone gone, it had been too easy to let things slide a little. He'd better pick this stuff up before Hop Sing saw it!

He had just enough time to pack the offending items up to his room and stash them out of sight, when he heard the front door open. As he came down the stairs, the shiner on his little brother's face explained why they were back early. "Joe, you just had to get in trouble, didn't you." 

Joe didn't flare up as Adam had expected. "It wasn't me this time, big brother." He hung up his hat and bent to untie his holster as Hoss came in behind him.

Hoss's face sported a brilliant bruise, as well. Originally black, his eye was turning an incredible array of green, purple, and yellow as it healed. Adam shook his head. "I might have known! Hoss, what did you two get into?"

Hoss just shook his head as he unbuckled his gun belt. "I reckon Pa's the one to tell ya about it, Adam. Joe 'n' me just sorta came in on the tail end of it."

"Pa! What's Pa got to do with..." Adam broke off as his father came through the door with Hop Sing. Both of them had black eyes, too! Adam stared in disbelief, first at his brothers, then at the cook, and finally at his father. "Pa, what happened?"

Ben slid his gun belt into the drawer. "It's a long story, son. We'll tell you all about it later. Right now, I just want to wash off some of this trail dust." With that he headed up the stairs, followed by his two younger sons.

Adam turned to Hop Sing, "Hop Sing, how did you get..."

The cook cut him off. "Vely late. Hop Sing start supper, or no food leady." He scurried off toward the kitchen.

Adam stood there for a minute, wondering if his entire family had gone nuts. Well, it looked like he wasn't going to get any answers right then, anyway. 



By the time supper was over, Adam's patience was wearing thin. During the meal, Pa and his brothers had talked about everything _but _what they had done in San Francisco. When they had settled with coffee in front of the fireplace, Adam had had enough of them avoiding the subject. "Okay Pa, what _really _happened in San Francisco? It wasn't a surprise that Joe got into a fight, and I figure Hoss just jumped in to help him out, but you...and _Hop Sing?"_

Joe couldn't hold back any more. "We had to fight to get Pa and Hamp and Johnnie off the ship, Adam."

"Ship? What were they doing on a ship?" Adam looked from Joe to Pa.

"They got shanghaied." Joe took a sip of his coffee as Adam nearly choked on his.

"Shanghaied!" Adam spluttered.

"Hey, watch it!" Hoss dodged the spray of coffee from his brother. "Yeah. You know how Pa's always tellin' us that Barbary Coast is dangerous. He wasn't kiddin'. That li'l Quick-buck Katie stole Pa from Shanghai Pete and sold him to Cut-rate Joe. By the time we found 'em, they were on a ship that was fixin' to head out to China."

Adam gaped at his father. "Pa? The Barbary Coast? What were you doing there?"

Ben sighed. "Just let me tell it, will you? Hamp and Johnnie got themselves shanghaied, and we went down there to look for them. I left to talk to the police, and while I was gone, your brothers were supposed to stay together and keep looking."

Hop Sing brought out another pot of coffee. "Cousin vely happy. Bet on Mistah Hoss, win one hundred dollahs!"

Joe was grinning at the memory. "Yeah, Adam. Our brother took on Bust-head Brannigan and whupped him good!"

"Who was this Bust-head person? A crimper?" Adam was having a hard time following this tale.

"Naw, he's one of them boxing fellas, you know, a prize fighter." Hoss was trying to sort it out for his older brother.

"Yep. Champ of the Barbary Coast. And ol' Hoss there cleaned his clock!" Joe had made a few dollars on the impromptu bout, himself, but he wasn't about to admit it to anyone.

"What does this have to do with how Pa got shanghaied?" Adam was feeling more confused, the more they tried to explain.

Ben tried to regain control of the tale. "As I said...your brothers were _supposed _to be looking for information on Hamp and Johnnie. Since they weren't making any progress," he glared at his two younger sons, "I sent them back to the hotel, and Hop Sing and I kept looking."

"I went into one place, and started talking to the bartender. Then the owner, Alexander Pembroke, came up and introduced himself. Next think I knew, I was falling through the floor and landed in the water. I found out later that Pembroke was actually Shanghai Pete.

"He was already holding Hamp and Johnnie, but the captain showed up right after I got there, and took the two of them. I didn't know then why he didn't take me, too. Anyway, a while later, a woman came down and brought me some food. Kathleen gave the impression that she wouldn't mind helping me, so I offered her $500 to help me escape.

"Kathleen?" Adam was trying to keep the characters in this story straight, but it wasn't easy.

"Also known as Quick-buck Katie. I thought she was going to get me out of there, but she took me straight to Cut-rate Joe, and sold me off to him. The same captain showed up there and refused to take me again because I wasn't drunk. He apparently felt that any man who got drunk deserved to be shanghaied. Then someone hit me over the head, and I woke up on deck of the ship.

"So how did Hoss and Joe find you, Pa?" This was starting to make some sort of weird sense to Adam, but he was still at a bit of a loss.

"Hop Sing came back to the hotel an' told Joe 'n' me that Pa hadn't come out of the saloon." Hoss continued with his part of the tale. "So we went on back down there. I was gettin' a mite riled, and was fixin' to take that place apart. Then that Pembroke fella came over and started talkin' to me. Then I went through the floor."

"You mean, you got shanghaied, too?" Adam was finding this harder to swallow.

"Naw. They tried, but I convinced 'em to change their minds." 

Joe couldn't keep still any longer. "Hoss flew out through a wall, and Hop Sing's cousin told us that he'd seen Pa being carried onto a ship that was sailing out that night. By the time we got down there, Pa came around and was yelling for the captain. That's when the fight started."

"Ah yes. Now we get to the fight." Adam leaned forward. Maybe now he would find out how his entire family had gotten black eyes!

"Adam, you shoulda seen Pa go after that ol' captain!" Hoss was grinning at the memory. "He just started whalin' on 'im, then Hamp and Johnnie got into it with the deckhands."

"Yeah. We just hadda even out the odds, that's all." Joe made it sound like an all-out brawl on the deck of a ship was an everyday occurrence.

Hop Sing beamed from the dining room. "Hop Sing not have so much fun in years! Next time go San Flancisco, take Mistah Cahtlight!"

"Only one thing we never did clear up," Joe winked at Hoss. "Just how much _did _Quick-buck Katie get for you, Pa?" 

Ben huffed and glared at his youngest, then noticed Adam's curious gaze. They were just going to keep deviling him until he told them! He looked into the depths of his coffee cup and mumbled something quietly.

"What?" Joe strained forward to hear. "I didn't get that, Pa."

"Seventy-five dollars!" He scowled as his sons dissolved in laughter.

"Seventy-five dollars! Come on, Pa. You must have been worth more than _that! _Hahahaha!" Joe was nearly rolling on the floor.

"Well, she asked for a hundred! Said I was top-flight merchandise!" After all, Ben thought, he was an experienced sailor, and a man had to have his pride.

Adam wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes, then sighed and set down his coffee cup. "Pa, it sounds like the next time you have to go to San Francisco, _I'd _better go with you. Someone's got to keep you out of trouble!"


End file.
